A Rough Beginning...A Bittersweet End...

I was once told an interesting saying that for some reason really strikes me quite hard, especially on the difficult day that was today. The saying goes something like this: "You can spend all this time planning your life right here down on earth, and up in the heavens God is laughing at you the whole time." This especially means that there are other things in mind that I am not aware of, and something new in life that I suppose I will find out all in good time. And that has been the revelation these past few weeks, and from what it seems like now, there is a lot more to come.

This blog entry contains something a bit more difficult to explain...and I have to alter my life plans a bit. But I shall sum it up as follows: I will no longer be able to remain a graduate student here at Ben-Gurion University of the Negev. The main reasons are significantly personal, but the long and short of it is a fabulous career opportunity back in Los Angeles starting next month, and a financial crisis with a grant that I was supposed to be receiving...the very ticket on really why I am here. Today was my first day with the withdrawing process... It almost feels like the rug has been yanked out from under my feet, tossed to the ground, shaken and thrown away. I had to drop all my classes, and now begins the discovery of what comes next. I am very excited to see what awaits me in the future, yet the road is long to get there.

As many of you know, my times here in Israel have not been easy. From an unsettling start in Jerusalem, to finding housing here in Be'er Sheva, to getting settled and then having to relocate apartments, from bureaucracy to bureaucracy at the university, to finally grant and other financial issues with the state of Israel, the math adds up to the fact that I tried to plan something and make it work, and this is not where I am supposed to be. Everything I have done with making it work has failed, and failed again. MAPMES is an OK program, but in my opinion not enough to slave over it and make it work to some extent toward my career. Finally NBC News Tel Aviv did not work out, as the bureau is too small to conduct fulltime internships and/or pageships. Although I tried to deny all of these things for several weeks now and continue to remain optimistic, the time has come to acknowlege the uphill road and move it along to opportunities that will further my career and make a happy life.

I just a few short weeks I will board a British Airways flight back to New York, then on to Sacramento for a little bit before the big move to Los Angeles. Until then, I plan to still have fun, to see Israel, to travel a few more times to the places I want to see. I also will be able to have someone sublet my room, transfer the lease over and be free and clear of any obligations here. Next weekend, I'm still travelling with a group to Eilat, one of Israel's most tropical cities. My flight departs early in the morning November 17, so the plan is to head to Ben-Gurion Airport on Friday the 16th, the day before, check in my luggage, and then head to Jerusalem for a final time to visit the Old City, and to go to a special place that I absolutely loved in Israel...called Kol Haneshama. From there, I will start my journey home.

To all who have been religiously checking this blog and haven't seen anything here for a bit, I apologize...this has been what's going on in life. Again, expect a few more posts before I have to leave. And of course, thank you to you all for your love and support. I'll be home soon! And don't worry, Israel... I'll be back...you can count on it :)